The other day a friend complained once more about a colleague who annoys her so much that her friend begins to clench her teeth in anger as soon as she sees her.
– To be honest, I can’t even say exactly what’s wrong with him: annoying, that’s it! – Annie complains. – Of course, she has some unpleasant characteristics: all the time nodding to leadership, “silent” in meetings, although she complains more than anyone else and is not the case, she often speaks quite rude, but does not tolerate even the slightest . hint of a comment. He often intrudes on my projects and edit my work without asking, although I don’t ask him to help me with my work. I think it suits me well. But there are so many people so I don’t understand why I’m so pissed off at them!
And a friend told me about the boss, who is quite peculiar accepts gifts:
– I do not remember a single case in which he did not comment on a gift for a birthday or March 8 and did not say anything unpleasant. In an expensive skincare cosmetics set, she said she took it as a clue that it looked bad, in an office supplies set she said we didn’t want to think about the gift and that we bought something on a first-come, first-served basis, and in a custom package. cake never thought she looked like someone who couldn’t afford to buy a cake herself. Our boss is not a very pleasant person to talk to, but the days leading up to the holidays are a great stress for the whole team.
Girls are not alone in their irritation: most of us are annoyed by the most common things in colleagues, nothing out of the ordinary. A survey conducted by the staff portal showed that one in five people do not like the staff they work for, and one in twenty of us is frankly upset with their colleagues. And it can piss off anything from intrigue and gossip to delays and frequent smoking breaks.
For obvious reasons, pouring aggression on colleagues every day will not do it. First, companies don’t like scandalized people. Second, it is detrimental to your own health. And finally, thirdly, it often happens that the colleague insults for no apparent reason, or is hypocritical, or says bad things with a cute smile on his lips. And from the outside it will seem that the scandal is started by you, but, as we have pointed out, scandals at work do not like it.
If a conflict has arisen …
The best way to end the conflict is to simply ignore it. But the truth is that perfect teams do not exist, which is why conflicts at work, a fairly common phenomenon. It is especially frustrating that even the most correct behavior in a work environment is no guarantee that conflict with colleagues will not arise.
All labor disputes can be divided into those that occur without your participation and those in which you were personally involved.
– In the first case, you should try to distance yourself from the conflict, not allowing yourself to be dragged into a skirmish. Intervene, and only constructively, only when the conflict affects your interests. In this case, you should state your position (“it is important for me to participate in the discussion of this problem”) and then try to help the conflicting parties to structure the information, formulate their requirements and develop some rational solutions.
In the second option, if the conflict is personal, you don’t have many options: you have to solve the problems. And the business coach advises to start by minimizing contacts with the “enemy”: do not go to lunch in the same company, do not go to the smoking room at the same time, and wear headphones. If it is a problem and it is impossible to stop communicating, it should be formalized and depersonalized as much as possible. All this can be discussed, for example, by email, and the correspondence should be as correct as possible. And, of course, you shouldn’t discuss a conflict situation with your colleagues.
– In both cases, the main thing is not to get emotionally involved in the dispute. That is, in any case, do not get irritated, do not lose your composure and do not raise your voice, even if they yell at you. And most importantly, maintain the utmost goodwill, at least on the outside. Practice shows that the sympathy of colleagues and superiors, sadly, is not always on the side of the right one. We are used to trusting our own eyes and feelings, so it is easier to assume that the right, cheerful and friendly employee, and the guilty, gloomy and dissatisfied.
Psychologists remind us that the art of avoiding or resolving conflict with minimal losses comes with experience. And as long as there is no experience, you have to learn not to give them too much importance and remember: work must remain work, and it is better to leave emotions to those closest to you.
The experts talked about how to get rid of negative emotions without leaving your workplace:
1. Take a deep breath. If you’re already nervous, take a few deep breaths to calm your body and oxygenate your brain. Also, you will find yourself busy for a few seconds, and perhaps during this time you will change your mind about writing a resignation letter.
2 Drink some water. The psychological effect is the same: a strange action will distract you. In addition, chewing and swallowing have a relaxing and calming effect.
3. do gymnastics. Of course, if space and time allow, do breathing exercises with your arms apart and up.
4. Smell the bergamot. The portal experts advise having a “kit” with aromatic oils and in critical situations sprinkle a few drops on the wrist, clothing or, for example, a pen. Bergamot, grapefruit and sandalwood oil are the best remedies.
5. “Ground yourself.” Focus on your own feet – stand up straight and feel supported, literally.
6. Take a walk. Ideally, walk down the street, but as a last resort, at least to the fridge or a nearby office. Movement restores emotional stability.
7. Look at something nice and kind. This may include, but is not limited to, adorable photos and videos of a baby, kittens, or puppies. This will balance the emotions and reduce the degree of tension.
– All of the above tips are actually combined into one idea: divert attention. – In the event that a person needs to calm down quickly, this is really the most important thing. From the same series: pinching, clenching and loosening the fist sharply, mentally reviewing the multiplication table, remembering a poem or phone numbers of several friends. The main thing is to “hold your face” for the first few seconds, then it will be much easier to avoid bursting. Also, the ability to change quickly will never be superfluous and can help you in many difficult situations.
George is Digismak’s reported cum editor with 13 years of experience in Journalism