Thursday, January 27

Ángel Martín: “Going crazy is the best thing that has happened to me”


Thus, first of all, a (media) humorist who talks about ‘his’ madness sets off the alarm: will he trivialize mental health? But what it does Angel Martin (Barcelona, ​​1977) in the book ‘In case the voices return’ (Planet) is a tremendously honest journey through a brain turned into a capital ‘escape room’, the 14 days in the hospital with straps, the conviction that everything had finished, the exit of the well, the lessons of the other side. It is the forest that we do not see when we stay in the tree.

How did the madness manifest itself?

It was discovering that what he was seeing at first sight was the mask of the world. I took it off and understood absolutely everything.

Or have you been there or don’t you understand?

It’s not possible.

So why tell it?

It is a manual for me, in case I am there again, so as not to waste time deciphering. It is also an effort to tell those who do not experience what is happening in your head.

Did your people stay or flee?

Only four knew about it, including my parents, who live far from Madrid.

Is it explained why it broke?

When I left the hospital I tried to look for the zero minute and I realized that I was never going to find a cause.

He was taking half a pill of ecstasy and smoking weed. Nothing to see?

Many have gone through the same thing as me and did not use.

“It may have to do with trying to hide emotions. They stagnate and create a plug that will pop one day.”


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Maybe public exposure …

No. It may have to do with trying to hide emotions. They stagnate and create a plug, until one day it jumps.

Do you see yourself able to take stock of this chapter?

Going crazy is the best thing that ever happened to me. By far. No other experience has meant such a wild change in my personality. Although I can say that now. When I left the hospital I was in the shit and I thought I was never going to go back: everything was dark, I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t know who I was. I had to do a delicate and millimetric job of reconstruction. I became a surgeon myself.

“When I left the hospital I was in the shit and I thought I was never going to go back”


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How has it made you better?

I make every decision very consciously. They are usually taken routinely and that takes you, without having any idea of ​​the direction your life will take. I would say that it leads me to something much more human.

To empathy, for example.

If I see a suicide at the top of a building, while everyone assumes that he is there because he is a drunk foreigner, I think that in the catalog of options there is the one who feels voices that tell him to jump and I, for if anything, I send him a: “Dude, don’t jump.”

Another sequel is not to fear death.

I have lived it. And since the result was simply a plane change, the brain has decided that death will be that and I am not wasting time in disproving it.

“I have lived death. It was simply a plane change”


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It does lose it in correcting the bad press of insanity.

It is important. The mental patient tends to be related to “he is going to end up killing or killing himself.” The madman is not dangerous.

Guide those with a case nearby.

I would say to them, “Nothing is personal.” It is one of the most important keys. You have to put on the raincoat before what you do or say and understand that the first person who wants to be well is the person affected. And second, instead of saying “poor thing, now that’s it …”, you have to say: “A very rough move has happened to you, and you are going to freak out with how tired you are going to be because they can’t do an X-ray, but this is not the end of a fucking joke. ”

Medication brings you out, but knocks you out. Worried about losing the spark?

Of course! I was taking a mixture of Risperidone, Abilify and Lorazepam, and it was impossible for me to write: I stopped because I was tired, and I was tired of being tired and it made me nervous. But he needed to earn money. Suddenly I realized that in my stage of greatest creative growth –– of the monologues a ‘I know what you did…’–– He did not use drugs. So I said to my brain: “We need to get that back.”

“I have zero panic to return to that the voices return. I have worked hard so that it does not happen”


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Once everything is clean, what three things are important to you?

Me, me and then me. It’s not selfish, believe me. It is paying attention to any change in emotion, no matter how small.

Will the voices return?

I have zero panic, zero. I have worked so hard to keep it from happening that I have the feeling that it is no longer possible at all. It is as if he had an army in his head saying: “Lie down easy, man. We are on guard with swords, shields and catapults.”


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