TThere’s never a time here when Calum Best isn’t on the 12th floor of a sushi restaurant, winking at a girl in all the glamor who took an hour and a half train from Kent to be here. That is just a fact. Yes, sometimes Calum Best does other things adjacent to Calum Best: flexing in the mirror at a prestigious gym while wearing a cap, for example, or putting his arm around Wayne Lineker’s hot and heavy shoulders, but More or less, Calum Best exists solely to do the dark MTV deals, and MTV wants him on the 12th floor of some sushi restaurant, with a girl who follows him on Instagram and wears three pairs of false eyelashes, saying that intense eye contact with him ”. makes her shy. “
Calum Best is always at this sushi restaurant, wearing a crystal necklace, smiling because he knows he’s two drinks away from taking someone back to a hotel in Stratford, and it’s MTV’s job to make sure a camera is pointing at him while it does. because that’s how television works. Calum Best is a sexual economy unto itself. In that sense, it is more profitable than the gold standard.
A Celebrity Ex in the City (Tuesday, 8 pm, MTV), which is a spinoff of Celebrity Ex on the Beach, which is a spinoff of Ex on the Beach. You can probably figure this out: Various celebrities from the Love Island / Boohoo launch party after the economy (Megan Barton-Hanson, Michael Griffiths, Amy Hart, Towie’s “Gatsby,” Towie’s “Charlie,” Malique Thompson-Dwyer’s Hollyoaks and national treasure Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace) have a succession of first dates, and then an iPad is turned on telling them a surprise is coming, and then they are contractually forced to look surprised when that surprise turns out to be one of their exes showing up. … on a show called literally Ex in the City.
When this format takes place on a beach, after each of the contestants has been topless and horny for a succession of weeks under the Spanish sun, the threat of an ex showing up to jeopardize those thrills early stages of a relationship makes for a great drama. . Here, someone who a participant half-texted once for a moment on Instagram and appeared fully clothed to collapse the first half hour of a tepid date doesn’t have the same excitement. Still, the first episode made me cringe so much that my toes tried to retract inside my body so I guess it has the desired effect.
In a way, I admire the sheer, bulletproof bravery of format television in lobbying during a pandemic (each date is held at a gigantic table, so that the two people on the date can socially distance themselves and there is still room for a third person appear, screaming, again at a safe social distance). Yes, most people can’t see their families, but we can still send a celebrity who got famous by being on a dating show to another celebrity-only dating show. Offices are closed, schools are still fighting, thousands are trapped in college hallways, but nothing, nothing, can stop Calum Best from making some pre-date lizard bombs and drinking a tequila with someone he’s already with. met once in Raya. Whatever global events unfold, that will continue to happen somewhere. Trying to stop it is as futile as stopping the cycle of the moon.
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