A semblance of social normalcy returned to the US this weekend, after the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned that vaccinated Americans can socialize without masks or distancing themselves. “Americans are finally getting back to seeing their friends, instead of bingeing on friends again,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday’s Late Show.
Colbert also spoke about the multi-million dollar divorce between Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife Melinda, and the looming scandal that Colbert dubbed “Gates-Gaete.”
According to the New York Times, Bill Gates questionable behavior With female colleagues he has long raised his eyebrows. On multiple occasions, the newspaper reported, Gates romantically pursued women who worked with him at Microsoft and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. “It’s bold to have an affair in an office that is literally named after your marriage,” Colbert said, mimicking Gates: “Honey, don’t even think about Melinda. Or look at the outside of the building. Or the stationery. Or our website. Our W2, or Melinda, who is also in this meeting. “
“But like most troubled marriages, the main source of conflict was dating Jeffrey Epstein,” Colbert continued, pointing to reports that Gates met Epstein dozens of times starting in 2011 and continuing through 2014. “That’s later Epstein’s sex crimes were known to the public, although perhaps Gates didn’t know anything about Epstein because he looked him up on Bing, ”Colbert joked.
On the Daily Show, Trevor Noah discussed the confusion over the relaxation of the CDC mask guidelines. “On the one hand, you have the CDC saying, ‘Take off your masks.’ And on the other hand, there are experts who say it’s crazy, ”Noah explained.
Which is not surprising, he added, since “experts have disagreed throughout this pandemic, is it airborne? Is it safe to go back to school? Do you have to pay for a gift at a Zoom wedding?
“The CDC is receiving fire from all sides,” he continued. “But guys, they are only reflecting what the science says. And everyone agrees that if you are vaccinated, it is highly unlikely that you will get sick or transmit the virus, even without a mask. It’s like clicking “install updates now” instead of “remind me later.” It’s technically possible, but it’s not really going to happen. “
The change in orientation on masks has generated confusion and many vaccinated people have continued to wear masks despite the microscopic risk to safety. “It’s kind of weird to me that some fully vaccinated people are treating their faces like limited edition Pokémon cards that can’t be taken out of the box,” said Noah. But at the same time, I get it. If you spent a fortune on masks last year, you will want to keep wearing them, to get your money’s worth. “
But “let’s be honest, as people,” he concluded, “wearing a mask, even if it’s not necessary, literally doesn’t hurt anyone. People are here in fancy Crocs and fanny packs. It’s okay. Do what makes you feel comfortable, for whatever reason you want. “
On Late Night, Seth Meyers gave an update on the Matt Gaetz sex scandal: His “partner” and longtime friend, Joel Greenberg, pleaded guilty to sex trafficking and agreed to cooperate with federal prosecutors. “Obviously, this is not good news for Gaetz,” Meyers said.
“I mean, we already knew about the drug-driven sex parties and the trip to the Bahamas with his other friend, a Florida hand surgeon and marijuana businessman who is one of the Florida Clue characters, along with a vaping alligator. in Margaritaville. Sleeveless.”
Greenberg has been implicated in Gaetz’s sexual relationships with underage girls; to Daily Beast Investigation found that the morning after Gaetz sent Greenberg $ 900 via Venmo, Greenberg sent three underage women they had sex with with Venmo payments labeled “tuition,” “school,” and “school. “.
“It’s not a good cover, buddy,” Meyers said. “It would have been less suspicious to use a bunch of eggplant emojis.
“It would have been less suspicious if you had written ‘FOR CRIME THINGS’ and then everyone would think it was a joke,” he continued. “For example, how do I sell your friends to split the check after dinner, but you put something funny in the subject line, like ‘to buy that diarrhea medicine you asked for.'”
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel reacted to a bomb 60 minutes of research in UFOs. The latest episode of the news show interviewed several senior Pentagon officials who reported observing “unidentified aerial phenomena,” now the subject of a federal task force, in which inexplicable objects appeared to fall 80,000 feet in one second and move. at more than 13,000 miles per hour. .
“They’ve known about this for a couple of years, but they’ve waited until now to talk about it, because I guess a couple of years ago, they would have been too embarrassed if the alien said ‘take us to your leader.’ Kimmel joked. “It would have been like, uh, not a great idea.
“I feel like if this story had been in 60 Minutes, like in 1988, it would have been the only thing we talked about for the next 30 years,” he added. “It would have been the most important news of the year. Now it’s like, ‘yeah, oh yeah, I heard that. I also heard that Bill Gates was trying to get crazy with one of his employees, right? “
George is Digismak’s reported cum editor with 13 years of experience in Journalism