Tuesday, April 9

Does Sex Drive Really End As You Get Old?


Claudia and Luis met very young. They knew right away that they were made for each other. Its beginning was an outburst, they could not stop thinking about the other, idealizing him, and their bodies were turned on just by touching. They needed to make love frequently.

They have spent a lifetime together. Although there have been some health problems, they are basically well maintained and self-managing. They spend some time in the day care center in their neighborhood, go for walks and share housework. From time to time, they take care of their grandchildren. And they still keep attracting each other! Now in a different way, enjoying their affection and their bodies. It is a love of companions, of being with someone you love and enjoying it.

Sexuality and sensuality are differential and inclusive aspects of the human sexual act. Present throughout life, it is learned and outlined towards the pleasure of everyday life, of the body, of humor and mutual enjoyment, of the love of companions.

Older people basically have the same needs for pleasure and well-being than children, adolescents, youth and adults, and although they tend to be less well covered, especially in those who live institutionalized, they do not disappear with age.

Remaining a sexual being during the aging process should be considered a fundamental right and a significant predictor of quality of life.

The way each person feels and expresses himself as a woman or as a man is a biographical fact that lasts a lifetime, is your sexuality.

The expression of this fact aimed at obtaining pleasure, with the participation of the body through the senses, is its sensuality, which feeds on desires and abilities to attract someone, its eroticism, and is manifested in innumerable behaviors, sometimes shared and others alone, her love affair.

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Pleasure does not diminish with age

Most older adults remain sexually active, interest in sex and pleasure do not diminish with age.

Although age, by itself, is not a reason to change sexual practices that have been enjoyed throughout life, adaptations may need to be assumed, where appropriate, to certain physical limitations and the effects of diseases or medications.

Adult couple kissing.
(Foto: GETTY IMAGES)

These changes will be less pronounced and the associated sensual erotica less affected when one has been sexually active. Imagination, sensory stimulation, and other environmental aids can increase receptivity to pleasure and to meeting.

Investigating these external aids we have collected in erotic stores regarding the most frequent needs raised by older people.

Among men, aspects related to erection are the most consulted, from topical creams to penile harnesses. Among women, aspects related to lubrication and friction in coital relationships and stimulators of eroticism such as perfumes, lingerie, massagers and toys.

However, it is necessary to consider that there are adults who choose not to participate in sexual activities, and that is also normal.

The effect of being widowed

The psychological and social factors that affect sexuality as you age are very important. In many cultures, sex is linked to youth and older people may feel less desirable, which can negatively affect their self-esteem which, in turn, would impact their sexual performance.

For example, Being widowed has many implications for emotional and sexual health, since people who have been in a relationship for most of their lives may not know how to manage their sexual feelings in the long term.

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Couple holding hands.
(Foto: GETTY IMAGES)

According to the information obtained among the students of the University of the Elderly (UCLM, Albacete 2020), sexuality is a very important component for their well-being (93%), and although the practice of genital sexual activities, such as intercourse, decreases , keep sexual desire active (71%) and enjoy affection and erotica (69%).

What was an intense, passionate, genitalized, expectant love under the effect of dopamine, is now a love of companions, to be with someone you love and enjoy it, with great involvement of the senses and emotions, mediated by neurotransmitters (serotonin and oxytocin) whose effects are calmer.

Disinhibition and delivery to pleasure

These changes can be reflected in emotional openness during sexual practices (91%), disinhibition and indulgence in pleasure during relationships (7%) and satisfaction with their mood after sexual activity (9%).

When taking into account gender, differences are found in their self-perception, for example, regarding the intensity of sexual arousal (54% men / 45% women) or the balance between what is given and received (63% men / 36% women).

Adult couple kissing.
(Foto: GETTY IMAGES)

The love of pleasures is maintained and expanded throughout life. We must not forget that, if we are not already, we will all be elderly in a few years and that we will want what we all want: enjoyment, dignity, privacy and the attentive care of a person, without impertinent interference.

*Marta Nieto Lopez and Rigoberto López Honrubia are professors in the Department of Psychology at the University of Castilla-La Mancha, Spain.ña

* This article was originally published on The Conversation and is published on BBC Mundo under a Creative Commons license. You can read the original version here.

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* Why sleeping in separate beds can be beneficial in your relationship


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