ORyez! Hey! Hey! There may be few British traditions more English than that of the town crier. In her scarlet dress, tricorn hat, wicker shoes, white silk stockings, and ermine bag, the bleating horn of the town crier, the sound of the dong, and the harsh, horrible voice, they have brought good news to both the dirty peasant and the man. to the fragrant lord since the days of King Arthur. And the Sheriff of Nottingham! But during the gruesome 48 hours of the past week, it seemed as if six of our best town criers were about to be robbed from Covid-plagued continental Europe. And there’s no better reason than to win untold billions of euros for some bastards. God save the Queen!
Hey! Hey! Hey! The Town Crier Euro-Superleague Initiative ™ ® raised an autonomous competitive circle of a dozen of Europe’s best town criers, each individually free from the financial destabilizing threat of relegation and collectively capable of imposing the highest licensing fees from broadcasters. Syndicated Town Crier Competition. and transmission platforms. The conservative mantra is to let the market decide. For Conservatives to obstruct big business’s desire for a Town Crier Euro Elite Division ™ ® would be, as former Conservative Culture Secretary Sajid Javid put it in refusing to stop ticket resellers inflating live event prices, a socialist intervention in the market. God save the Queen!
Hey! Hey! Hey! But while the proposed Interplanetary Super-Crier Sweepstake ™ ® was true to the free-market and buccaneer ethic of the buccaneer and free-market philosophy on which the Brexit-Covid government is based, it was against the very spirit of what means to be. An English! Especially an Englishman in a red-walled fringe seat, the most Englishman of all Brexit Brits! In 2014, multi-identity cheater Grant Shapps tweeted in support of a budget that would “lower the bingo tax and beer tax to help working people do more of the things they enjoy.” Boris Johnson, displaying the same condescending attitude towards a proletariat that he sees simply as barely sensitive racist aphids, there to be milked by votes and fear, believes that the raging red wall rebels can stand aside as long as they have their town crier. This time it is better not to let the market decide! God save the Queen!!!
Hey! Hey! Hey! No one denies that it has been a tough 12 months for the town criers. His saliva-spattered ejaculations have not been well received in the land of the confinement of Britain. This year, their Annual British Town Crier Contest, their three-pointed crown currently held by the proclamation of Nuneaton, Manalishi Paul Gough, is an online event, but nothing can replace the spectacle of a screaming man making noise in one place. Covid’s draconian rules currently prohibit town criers from crying in actual cities, the defining element of what it means to be a town crier. Is it any wonder that the town criers of the Loyal Town Town Crier were seduced by the financial security of the proposed Elite Cadre Internationale ™ ® Town Town Crier? And is it any wonder his loyal supporters of the local heritage felt betrayed? God save the Queen!
Hey! Hey! Hey! By stepping in to stop the Ultimate Town Criers’ Smackdown ™ ® breakout, Boris Johnson has betrayed Brexit. By denying big business their right to be buccaneers, Boris Johnson mocks the eyes of Brexiter buccaneer Liam Fox, whose Brexit march was built on the promise of such a bold corporate buccaneer. Have we really replaced the legislative prison of the European Union with the shackles of cheap sentiment? With the belief that crying in the city still means something it hasn’t meant since everything was sold to the princes of Saudi Arabia, American business conglomerates, and money-laundering billionaires three decades ago? In fact, Gloucester town crier Alan Yatmin is the personal property of Sheikh Mansour of Abu Dhabi, who makes him cry in a Bedouin tent. Is it possible that the pirate Boris Johnson now believes that some things have inherent value beyond the merely financial? Does this mean that the BBC is safe, even though its subsidized recipe website undermines commercially produced baking magazines? God save the Queen!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Now is not the time to lose your temper. We leave the EU for buccaneers freely. Boris Johnson’s fearless intervention in the big 48-hour town crier sell-off of 2021 is a sham for the millions of Britons who voted for Brexit because they believed we should be free market buccaneers; and it’s a sham in the face of pole dance entrepreneur Jennifer Arcuri, who gave Boris Johnson her love on a family couch, because she believed in his belief in hacking. The town criers must be sold. If not to Europe, then to slavery, sexual if necessary, in the meat depots of billionaires. We must show the world’s business community that British Brexit is business. And if the town criers die, prostrate on the haunches of a Berkley horse in the Parisian pleasure den of an oligarch, so be it! Greater love has no crier !! Take back control !!! God save the Queen!!!!
However, he would push for the rebel barkers to be retained if they were deployed across the country to broadcast the news that conservative media clients seem reluctant to spread. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Boris Johnson’s Pole Dance Lover Got Public Funding! Hey! Hey! Hey! Boris Johnson pretended not to understand why a Northern Ireland protocol he signed can never work. Hey! Hey! Hey! Boris Johnson tried to decorate his apartment through a fake charity that he created himself! Hey! Hey! Hey! Boris Johnson spent over £ 4 million on internet campaign ads, 88% of which were found to be fake. Hey! Hey! Hey! Boris Johnson lied to His Majesty and illegally suspended Parliament! God save the Queen!”
TO 12-Inches of vinyl from the hit single January 1 Comin ‘Over Here by Asian Dub Foundation (with Stewart Lee) it is now available from Xray Productions. The acclaimed anti-rockumentary King Rocker (with Stewart Lee) is broadcasting on Now TV
George is Digismak’s reported cum editor with 13 years of experience in Journalism