There are cases in which integrating as a stepfather or stepmother to an already formed family nucleus results in a satisfactory experience, but there are situations where this becomes uncomfortable for all parties, according Kids Health.
Being a stepfather or stepmother is not a quick affair to learn, but is perfected as we integrate with the sons and our partner. Here are some helpful tips for the fitting process.
Interpersonal relationships take time to grow and develop, a principle that must be taken into account when becoming a stepfather or stepmother. You cannot insert yourself into a family nucleus and expect everyone to love you immediately.
Present yourself to the children with the best intention and expressing that you are here to take care of them and assist them in whatever they need, but don’t suffocate or overwhelm them with information. This can be intimidating for them.
Putting children’s needs before your own
Children are won with affection, love and understanding. At first, you will have to sacrifice a little of your comfort to facilitate their process of adaptation to the new dynamics of life that they will have.
Putting your needs before those of children is not the same as being accommodating to them. This is when you must recognize times when you must be strict and apply systematic rules that are followed by the stepchildren.
Create new family traditions
Find activities that your stepchildren like, but ask their opinion first, so that they feel that they are actively participating in the development of new traditions within the family.
The key to these new traditions is have fun together and strengthen relationships with each other as they adapt to a new dynamic of coexistence.
Talk to your partner or spouse
Communication with your partner is a cornerstone in your adjustment as a stepfather or stepmother. This is especially necessary if you have different ideas when it comes to discipline, education, and raising children.
If you have no children prior to the relationship, you can ask your partner what is the best way to relate to your stepchildren, know their preferences and what they dislike to get an idea of what to expect when you engage with them.
Of course, Everything your partner tells you should be confirmed first with your stepchildren in a subtle way to avoid acting under aspects or preferences that may have changed over time.
The integration of the stepfather or stepmother in the Family nucleus it is an effort by all parties and one that will benefit all equally. The better the adaptation, the easier it will be to insert into a peaceful normality for all, which in addition to being a rewarding experience, helps the mental health of all those involved.
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