Monday, August 2

How We Met: ‘My twin sister joked that she wished she had kept it for herself’ | Relations


TOmy Scease lived in Boston, Massachusetts, with her identical twin, Becky, in 1987. “That winter, she invited me to a party in this old loft,” she recalls. When they arrived, Amy saw a handsome man in a brown leather jacket. He introduced himself as Richard, and the couple hit it off. “We went out on the roof to talk all night because there was a lot of noise,” he says. He found out he was from San Diego and they both worked in banks. “There are so many idiots out there. When you meet someone nice, you want to see them again, ”he says. But when the party came to an end, one of Becky’s friends hugged Amy and Richard assumed they were a couple.

Thinking that nothing would happen between them, he left. “When I told my sister that I didn’t have her number, she said I was an idiot,” says Amy. “I ran out to look for him, but he had disappeared.” The following week he tried calling the bank he worked for, but with so many Richards working there, it was impossible to find him. “I thought that was it,” he says.

A few weeks later, Richard went on a ski trip to Jackson, New Hampshire, with a friend. The day after he arrived, he ran into Amy’s twin, Becky, who was staying at the same hostel. At that time they dressed and used their hair differently. “She told me her name and although she knew who I was, I couldn’t locate her. I thought he was from a different party a few years ago, ”he says.

Assuming Richard knew that she was Amy’s sister, Becky gave him the phone number of the house they shared. “She was trying to set me up. She already had about three boyfriends at the time, so I wasn’t looking for another one, ”laughs Amy.

In early 1988, Richard called Becky and Amy answered. “I knew Becky had a roommate named Amy, but she still hadn’t clicked,” he says. He started dating the two twins, and although he liked Amy, he couldn’t remember exactly where they had met before. It wasn’t until a mutual friend reminded him of the loft party that the penny finally fell. “I had this lightbulb moment,” he says. “That night we had this really romantic walk in Boston and we became a couple after that.”

Shortly after they started dating, Richard was asked to sail to Europe with friends, a long-time dream of his. At the same time, Amy was offered a six-month period in Germany to open a new office. After quitting his job and sailing for three months, Richard met Amy in Munich for the rest of his trip. They returned to Boston in September 1988, but struggled to get another job. He finally found work in California in February of the following year.

Amy and Richard on their 1992 Hong Kong honeymoon.
Amy and Richard on their 1992 Hong Kong honeymoon.

“I always wanted to live there, but my family was in Boston,” says Amy. “One day, I fell into this puddle of ice water and I thought, ‘That’s it, I’m going.’ They settled into financial jobs in Orange County and enjoyed many camping trips and skiing. In 1992, they were married in San Diego and the first of their two children joined the family four years later.

“Life changes when you have kids, but we loved going to the beach and riding our bikes,” says Richard. As being Diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago, Amy has battled lymphedema, a side effect of her treatment. “It has made it difficult for me to do things,” he says. “But during the pandemic we got electric bicycles and I was able to go out. It was amazing. “

The couple currently lives with their adult children. “We are very grateful for that, although they may have a different opinion,” laughs Richard.

Amy has always loved the kindness of her partner. “That can be hard to find in a man,” she says. “He’s been with me through all the ups and downs and was so, so loyal and helpful when I had cancer. After we met, my sister joked that she wished she had kept it for her. “

Richard says he loves his partner’s determination. “It is beautiful, but it also has this essence. She sees what needs to be done and does it. I have a lot of respect for her. “

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