Thursday, March 23

Leicester boss Rodgers writes ‘the chairman’ in three envelopes

Leicester City manager Brendan Rodgers has hastily stuffed three envelopes in a desperate bid to save his job at the King Power stadium.

The ex-Liverpool and Celtic gaffer famously used the motivational trick at Anfield where it almost powered them to the first league title in a generation, and the Northern Irishman is deploying the ruse once again in a desperate bid to convince his players that the season has already started.

A sweating Rodgers reportedly produced three envelopes in the dressing room on Thursday night following his team’s snore-inducing 1-0 defeat to Man United.

“When I arrived back after a fortnight basting in Tenerife for preseason, the first few days I spent analyzing the group, the staff, the players,’ he said to his exhausted squad, a source told us.

“I told the chairman I think there’s 20 players who will let us down this year and we needed to clear out or to increase the stationery budget.”

“Unfortunately he’s sold the decent ones and given me nothing but a Walkers’ multipack, some duty-free booze and a voucher for a local botox clinic in return.”

The beleaguered manager then went on to unveil his inspirational ploy amid a sea of ​​skeptical faces.

“I could only find three envelopes upstairs, so I’ve written the names of those who’ll let us down the most this season already.

“Any of you could let us down – look at how sh*te we were tonight, Donny Van de Beek nearly got on – but I think there’s three, maximum, who will really let us down.’

“Well, one, to be honest,” he muttered under his breath as the players headed for a cold shower due to the boiler having been turned off to cut costs.

It was later revealed that all three envelopes contain the same two words.

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‘The gaffer left them down and Jamie Vardy had a quick look to see if he was bluffing – turns out ‘the Chairman’ is to blame for us playing so crap.”


The incident comes following a summer where Leicester were the tightest spenders in the Premier League as most teams splashed the cash like Neymar on his sister’s birthday.

“Bournemouth spent more on Scott Parker wardrobe than we did on players this summer,” one irate fan fumed, “and they’ve already sacked him.”

“United clocked up more expenses trying to convince Frenkie de Jong Manchester’s not all that different to Barcelona than we paid out on reinforcements,” said another.

However, the club did agree to an 11th-hour deal to bring in Sideshow Bob lookalike centre-half Wout Faes.

“Wout’s a great lad, good in the air, and knows where to find a rake if he has to double as groundsman when B&Q offers £10,000 for the current fella,” a member of the Foxes’ scouting department claimed on his arrival at the club.

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