Saturday, November 27

My son starts the course at a new school

Sometimes, due to various factors (work or personal), we are forced to change our son or daughter from school. Whatever the reason, the child has to face an important change: new classmates, new teachers, new facilities, etc. This new situation can make you feel insecure, anxious and irritable …

The first thing we have to be clear about is that We adults can do many things to make the adaptation process as simple as possible. That is, it is not a path that our son has to carry out just because he is the one who faces change, we have to accompany him to make the process easier.

To help you in this important moment, we have asked the child psychologist Silvia Álava Sordo to give us 10 tips to make our child’s adaptation as simple as possible.

1. Empathy. Let’s think about how we have felt when we have been in a similar situation. When we have gone to a new company, when we have had to say goodbye to a friend we love very much … Putting ourselves in their shoes will help us to be the support they need.

2. Notify you in advance. It is important to tell him in advance so that he is prepared and that he does not catch you unexpectedly. If we can visit the school earlier, the better … This way you will get to know the environment, you can imagine the school, and not an abstract place …

3. Allow to get undressed. It is very important to let our son say goodbye to his former classmates, teachers … In addition, we can recommend that he ask for the telephone number of those who are closest to him in order to keep in touch with them. Changing our son’s school does not necessarily imply that he loses contact with those boys and girls with whom he had a closer relationship, in the same way that when we change jobs, we continue to be in contact with some classmates.

4. Validate your emotions. If our son tells us that he is afraid to go to the new school, we cannot tell them: “come on, don’t be afraid, what nonsense”, because we are not validating their emotions. His thing is that we tell him: “It is normal that you are restless, you do not know the new boys and girls, you are going to miss your old classmates”, but then it is in our power to reassure him: “You will see that in that school you go to be very well, because it is closer to home, because the children will quickly become your friends, because the teachers will treat you very well … ”.

5. Leave space for them to express their doubts about the situation. We listen to them, and we try to solve them. If there are things that we do not know, we are sincere: “darling, I do not know, but the first day we asked and left doubts.”

6. Give them confidence. It is essential that our son does not see us anxious about this change. If he sees us nervous, he is going to be nervous.

7. Always state the change of school in positive. Make the child see the advantages of the change and avoid comparisons in which the new school loses, such as: “What a pity that there is no swimming in this school, we loved the pool of the previous one.”

8. Work on your social skills. At school we are not only going to acquire knowledge, we are also going to socialize, make friends, have fun. We can do a little theater with them the days before the start of the course to work on social skills with them, for example: acting out how they are going to introduce themselves to their new classmates, how they are going to ask them to play with them …

9. Flexible attitude. It is necessary to convey to the child that in the new school there will be new rules, different ways of doing things, and that he must adapt to them. It is he who changes center, and will have to adapt. This will make our son work your cognitive flexibility how well it will do you when you are older. For this, we are models, we have to be flexible too.

10. Self-esteem and assertiveness. If the child changes schools because he has been a victim of bullying, we have to do extra work to increase his self-esteem and assertiveness (being able to say what he feels, not shutting up his needs, asking for help when he needs it).

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