Saturday, May 28

Organize our time so as not to go with our tongues out

We would like to have more time, but that is not in our hands: we have jobs with long hours, many commitments, housework, taking the children to school, after school… and in the end we always live with the feeling of “I don’t have time for everything, I have to go always running and with his tongue out”.

The psychologist Silvia Álava proposes stop to think about how we organize our time and how we can do it to spend more quality time with our children. For this, Silvia advises us observe and analyze where the time leaks are: the child is protesting, you are sending him more things than he can do at once, we are overloading him with activities or maybe we are asking him to do things faster than he can. Because when organizing the day to day we usually plan times based on how long an adult takes and, for example, we give our son less time to get dressed, he can’t do it as quickly and we feel rushed and stressed.

Establish family routines and schedules

Maite Vallet, pedagogue and trainer of teachers and parents, proposes make a family schedule of the activities that they must carry out before entering the school and after leaving it. If we help them think about all the tasks, our children feel involved, respected and satisfied when they meet the schedules and know the tasks that must be done.

Another advantage of make a homework schedule is that, if we have done it with their participation, really together, the fights over going to the bathroom or brushing their teeth could be reduced, because it is a task marked in the schedule that we have drawn up together.

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Plan the agenda and respect the agreed times

In the same way that at work we block time for tasks and fulfill it, it is important to understand that the time that we have told the child that we are going to dedicate to some activity is sacred. But Silvia Álava reminds us that it is important to leave time for small unforeseen events to have a small cushion of time that does not make us run away if, for example, we do not find a sock.

Manage the child’s time and let them know

For example, tell her that I can’t help you right now because I’m making dinner, but when I’m done I’ll come over. But you have to comply with it, because if when we have finished the child is calm, it is not worth doing something else. It is about respecting that time that I have reserved for you. When the child is young, we can leave him with a planned activity to fill that time.

Educate responsible and autonomous children

Actually that is the goal of education, that our children are autonomous. Many times it is true that we don’t have time for everything, but because we are actually taking on tasks that our children could do on their own, such as dressing, showering alone or even collaborating in cleaning and order at home. That is why Silvia invites us to teach our children to take on their tasks progressively, when they are ready.

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“If we favor your correct autonomy Since our children are small, it will be easier and easier because we will gradually make them more responsible and autonomous, but we must give them the time that children need”, says Silvia Álava. We can start preparing the backpack with them and gradually let them do it and tell them that we will only supervise. When I assume the responsibilities of that son or daughter, in the end they don’t learn, because they think: “If dad or mom are going to do it, why should I do it?” Silvia tells us.

“We must accept that we do not achieve everything and, from there, choosing and prioritizing is essential so as not to get frustrated by not meeting unrealistic expectations”

Lucia Galan – Pediatrician

Prioritize and distinguish what is important from what is not

Sometimes we would like to cook a wonderful dinner, but we don’t have enough time, so that’s not going to be that important, it’s about solving the situation. The same goes for the activities we plan in the afternoon with our children.

“At the moment that we are seeing that we have to put in extracurricular activities almost almost with a shoehorn and we have to run from one to another, we have to stop and analyze if it really makes sense to do three sports in the same afternoon,” says Silvia.

“Assume that we do not reach everything”, as Lucía Galán (Lucía, my pediatrician) told us and, from then on, “choose and prioritize it is essential not to get frustrated by not meeting unrealistic expectations.

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“Children have to learn to be bored, which is very good. Besides, no child has died of boredom yet”

Silvia Álava – Psychologist

give them free time

As Silvia Álava tells us, most of our children’s time is planned by an adult: teachers, parents, after-school monitors… It is important, says Silvia Álava, that our children learn to “manage their free time, decide what they play or simply learn to get bored, which is very good”, because, she jokes, “still no child has died of boredom.

Silvia underlines the importance of our children having free time alone because, she points out, “The only person who will accompany us throughout our lives is ourselves”, so it is important to teach them to “be comfortable with themselves”.

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