Sometimes I get scares that I don’t know. I was so calm in the newspaper when I began to hear a strange melody, to my right and in the distance, without really knowing what it was and exactly where it came from. I tuned my ear and it seemed to me that someone was whistling.
Whistling In 2022. It was so strange to me that I immediately discarded it, but after a few seconds I heard the same little song again, with more clarity this time. Fearing the worst, I asked Sergi on WhatsApp, which is in front of me, after making eye contact. His contorted face invited us to think that I was right and his reply message confirmed the worst omens: indeed, there in the distance, there was an uncle whistling.
Whistling In 2022. What is this? Postwar? As if that weren’t enough, another guy got infected on my left and started whistling too. Two adults whistling at the same time. In 2022. What are we? Goldfinches?
Goalkeepers and forwards
I thought of To call the police, but it was not necessary. Suddenly, the whistlers returned from the last century and silence returned to the newsroom. It took me a while to regain my cool after the experience. It was a moment similar to finding a mandarin full of seeds, which seems to you from another era, which you thought was something that, as a society, we had already overcome and left behind. It was a moment similar to seeing a goalkeeper block a ball after a powerful shot, that no longer happens, that now they almost always clear. It was a moment similar to seeing a forward dribble heads-up, that that no longer happens, that now they almost always shoot. Seed tangerines, blocking goalkeepers and goalkeepers dribbling forwards. People whistling. What’s this? The World Cup 82?
If I can say one good thing about my children’s education, it is that they have not learned to whistle. That and what to Teo The Three Wise Men brought him the League ball and he was butting him until blood came out of his nose. They don’t know how to make the bed either, my children. I don’t think they are even aware that there is a possibility of having to make the bed. From time to time they find it done and that’s it. Nobody makes the bed anymore, right? And before it seemed super important. If I find out that they are taught to whistle in class, I will change schools.
A decree law
If i were President of the goverment, would dictate a decree law to prohibit whistling in urban centers. The exception to the ban would be football, of course. You could only whistle on a soccer field. I have always been impressed by the number of people who know how to whistle on soccer fields, or even a select few who are listened to a lot. I have to confess that during my adolescence and in some games, because we all have our contradictions, I asked my friend Pepe whistle for me in soccer. It was a way of delegating my right to protest. As my team was in those years, my friend almost drowned, more than once, out of breath at my numerous complaints requests.
Anyway. Sometimes I get scares that I don’t know. The other night I was so quiet on the couch and my cell phone rang. I answered and he was a friend from a concert, and he yelled at me that the song they were playing It had reminded him of me. Call from a concert. In 2022. Is that still done? Did you call me with the Nokia of the snake?
Eddie is an Australian news reporter with over 9 years in the industry and has published on Forbes and tech crunch.