There are many doubts that mothers and fathers have about how to deal with issues related to sexual education with our children. The social taboo, Added to the fact that many of us do not receive any type of sex-affective education, it translates into many questions and fears about how to approach the subject with our children.
The most frequent questions about sex education
The psychologist and sexologist Lara Avargues explains that some of the most frequent situations that usually generate doubts and concerns among mothers and fathers are:
¿At what age should we talk about sexuality with our sons and daughters?
If your daughter or son begins a relationship, how would you feel? Would you discuss it with him or her, or would you let it slide until I explained it to you? What would you ask him?
If your son or daughter has a same-sex partner, how would you feel? What would you say? How would you approach?
If there is a teenage pregnancyWhat do you think should be done in these cases? Would you know how to approach it? Do you think you have enough information on this topic?
If you know that have started having sex, Do you give him any information? What do you propose? How do you approach it?
In short, as the sexologist points out, “what worries us most is act and respond appropriately in the face of doubts and situations related to sexuality and affection that our sons and daughters may experience ”.
The role of families in sex education
We must bear in mind that our vision about sexuality is going to be crucial when determining how we live our own sexuality and how we position ourselves with respect to others. For this reason, Lara Avargues advises “reflect on what our opinions are, in order to favor attitudes of respect and understanding both towards ourselves and what we feel, as well as towards our sons and daughters, since sexualities are diverse and the ways of seeing them, too ”.
Opening the doors of promiscuity: the biggest fear about sex education
There are those who consider that addressing sexuality with children may be opening the door to promiscuity, generate in them an interest that did not exist or that they start before in certain practices. On this, the sexologist is blunt: “It is proven that an approach to sexuality from childhood, adapted to the age and concerns of the person provides tranquility and security when it comes to addressing situations related to sexual behaviors and avoiding situations that are not desired ”.
Furthermore, “it has also been shown that the fact that fathers and mothers provide information does not in any way encourage their sons and daughters to desire to have sexual intercourse, but rather that produces a greater ability to make appropriate decisions”, Explains Avargues.
“The possibility for boys and girls to experience sexuality in a responsible way presupposes providing adequate information in advance”
Keys to carry out an adequate sex-affective education at home
Lara Avargues insists that “all fathers and mothers are trained to do sex education, but being willing to do sex ed is perhaps the most important thing”. Some guidelines that he advises us to get started are:
Create a good communication climate, that cultivates trust and works proximity with a clear and simple language, through listening and respect. That is, a climate that does not impose dialogue, respecting its rhythms where our sons and daughters perceive that what they say interests us and matters to us, without value judgments.
- Questions are opportunities to address issues of concern or curiosity about sexuality in young people. Being receptive to these questions enhances discussion, joint learning and, therefore, family bonding.
The particularities of each person must be taken into account, since they may have different doubts at different times and at different ages. Is about go beyond questions and take into account who does it and at what moment it is.
It is important give us permission not to know and share it with them, from honesty and clarity. It is not necessary to respond as experts on the subject, but to approach the subject calmly. Also, if we need it, we can seek professional information on the different topics of sexual and affective education; You can even look for those doubts together or tell them how they have been resolved and that, sometimes, you can seek support.
- Maintain consistency with the values that the family has and its ways of doing things, including aspects related to sexual education.
Eddie is an Australian news reporter with over 9 years in the industry and has published on Forbes and tech crunch.