Let’s start with an idea: a woman whose family album is made up of the covers of ¡HELLO! it can’t be normal. Neither is someone who goes out into the street with a spray of holy water in a Loewe bag, who says that he learned to read with his bodyguards or that he is going to call his third stepmother to ask if twelve or fourteen people can fit at a table. Having that clear, from then on everything in ‘Tamara Falcó: La Marquesa’ is enjoyable. If not, it is better to see ‘The Commune (Paris 1871)’, by Peter Watkins.
Tamara’s secret is that she’s not like you or me, but she doesn’t try either. So that. She knows that therein lies her success. That’s why she made a face of disgust when Yolanda Ramos told her in ‘MasterChef’ that she bought her panties at her market. And that’s why she’s the only one who seems mildly spontaneous in the mummified and botulinum world of the new Netflix reality show (she already had one in Cosmopolitan called ‘We love Tamara’ that didn’t work). For this reason and because Tamara, smarter than hunger, has worked on her candor and her freshness until they become a house brand.
The program seeks to show the life of Tamara Falcó that we do not know, if that is possible after forty years of posing and interviews. Well yes, it is: between rooms at the Ritz, photo shoots, ways of vocalizing that need subtitles and trips to Paris and New York, we discover that, deep down, Tamara is more concerned with receiving her mother’s approval and being the height of her father’s legacy than for being cute. Well, or almost. And they will discover it for us using as a plot line the opening of an ephemeral restaurant in El Rincón, the palace that he has inherited from his father, the Marquis of Griñón, a plot that will also allow Carolina Herrera, Boris Izaguirre, Martín Berasategui, Juan Avellaneda, Íñigo Onieva, the Finat sisters, a court of stylists and representatives, butlers with gloves, a Pope and a Nobel Prize for Literature. And, of course, her mother.
Because Isabel Preysler, unlike her daughter, shows off her usual hieratic attitude, something that we do not know if it is due to her Filipino features (Tamara justifies her lack of expressiveness by saying that she is Asian) or because of the aesthetic treatments. And she is critical of Tamara. Much. In every good story, and this reality show is, the protagonist must have a nemesis, and that is the role of her mother: she does not trust the restaurant project, and she does not want to see wedding dresses when they go to visit the store. Carolina Herrera. Because Preysler doesn’t like Íñigo Onieva, Tamara’s boyfriend. And if Preysler doesn’t like Íñigo, neither do we.
It’s logical that he doesn’t win us over: as Jorge Javier Vázquez says from time to time to one of his collaborators, silence favors Íñigo. Prototype of posh monkey, he recites his part of the dialogues, without a hint of naturalness. Tamara, on the other hand, exploits her freshness studied to the millimeter. And her laugh. Tamara laughs a lot. I would laugh like that too if I had such white teeth and if all my problems were solved by Hello!, Telva or Netflix. And even Tous: the jewelry brand for aspirational posh girls, turned into a shelter for unemployed aristocrats and well-off girls, has allowed it to launch a collection dedicated to the Virgin. And there is Tamara, almost in mystical ecstasy, selling us medals. She only needs to dress in a habit designed by Pronovias. But everything will come, that there is nothing like being part of a religion that allows you to find God both in the kitchens and in the kitchens of Porcelanosa and in which Lent is the new Operation Bikini, that you stay very cute for the summer based on of fasting and abstinence. Speaking of abstinence, those who don’t believe in Tamara or her universe of luxury and her gloved butlers, refrain from watching this reality show, or they’ll want to burn down mansions in Puerta de Hierro.
‘Tamara Falcó: La Marquesa’ is available on Netflix.
Eddie is an Australian news reporter with over 9 years in the industry and has published on Forbes and tech crunch.