Saturday, January 28

The 3 key steps to promoting emotional intelligence in children


The development of the emotional intelligence It is a topic that occupies more and more space and arouses greater interest in the family, academic, and also in companies. Both parents and teachers demand tools and strategies to promote and facilitate the development of emotional intelligence in children. kids.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to know, discriminate and manage the emotions own and others, and integrate that knowledge at the level of thought and behavior. Emotional intelligence can be educated and empowered, and is easily incorporated through observing the patterns of the environment (and the reference adults).

This concept became known in the early 90s in the academic and research fields, and was later popularized by Daniel Goleman, starting with the publication of his famous book. It involves going beyond the IQ (standard measure used to calculate a person’s intelligence), and proposes a new notion about the fundamental ingredients of success in life.

Mayer and Salovey, pioneering researchers in the study of emotional intelligence, found that the presence of a series of emotional and social competencies predicts a better performance of the person in objective indicators (academic scores, gross salary, job category and number of people in charge) and subjective (well-being and satisfaction with one’s life, feeling of control and ability to develop professionally and personally).

In other words, when faced with two people with the same IQ, the one who shows higher scores on emotional intelligence indicators is better able to live the life they want to live (the notion of success can be highly variable), and also enjoys a comparatively better health.

At what age should we begin to educate emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence develops in girls and boys from ages earliest stages. We are social beings, and as such, we are born in an environment and in a bond with the people who have brought us into the world and / or who take charge of our upbringing. The words, the looks, the songs, the hugs, the caresses … all this is shaping the emotional and bonding world of the baby, and satisfying those affective needs it is as important as the purely physiological needs.

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Talk about and consider each baby as a unique being, with their own preferences, tastes and needs. That is why we educate emotional intelligence all the time, even before they are born. (talk to him when he is in the gut, imagine what his face will be like, choose a name for him that is special and has a meaning….).

Promoting emotional intelligence from childhood will help our children understand their emotions Pexels


3 keys to promoting emotional intelligence in children

With these tips we can help our children to manage and understand their emotions and those of others

1. Develop emotional competence in the adult

We must bear in mind that a child will be able to develop their emotional intelligence and empathy to the extent that they find and relate to adults who are able to recognize their emotions, regulate and manage their internal states.

It seems pretty obvious, but many times we look only at the child: “It is that it is difficult for him to share” “it is that it becomes impossible” “it is that …”. Our behavior continuously models that of our children and students, so that if we observe a very frequent behavior that generates disruption or suffering, we have to limit and / or direct the child’s behavior, but also look a bit at what is reflecting us.

That is, if a child has many problems saying goodbye to things and people, he has a very bad time because he tends to establish relationships of great dependence on objects (dolls, toys or objects without apparent value loaded with emotionality), actions (they it is very upsetting when things don’t go as planned or expected), or people (as if it were unable to transition from the typical separation anxiety in younger children to a more mature position).

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In this case the question would be: how do the adults in charge of that child relate to the closings, the goodbyes, the duels? What happens to me when I feel sad about something that is gone? Do I allow myself to experience sadness? Am I able to regulate that emotion and move to another state? OR I tend to deny and inhibit those feelings and change the subject by focusing on something else? We can hardly give what we do not have inside, so observing what costs or hurts your child / student is a good opportunity to explore yourself (and from there grow both).

The same would happen in work teams, true leaders are extraordinarily emotionally competent; They manage to extract the maximum potential from each member and are capable of exponentially increasing the overall results. Thus, that leader will be able to develop emotionally intelligent teams.

It is important to develop our emotional intelligence so that our children can develop their emotional capacity Pexels


2. Develop emotional competence in the child

The idea is to help you to contact your internal world, and to be able to manage and optimize your thoughts, emotions and impulses. Also observe them in others

To practice it, we can look for a moment of tranquility and intimacy and at the end of the day review together 3 things that happened during the day:

  • Something good that has happened to you
  • Someone you have helped
  • Something you would like to improve

The idea is for the child to identify and name their own experiences, while listening and observing what has happened to us. In this way we achieve strengthen your identity and self-knowledge, we facilitate them to connect with their value and capabilities, we encourage their empathy, and we allow them to acquire security and the ability to intervene in the environment (change and improve the world). And of course we create a safe and trusting relationship, in which the child feels that he can share with us what worries or worries him.

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3. Develop an emotionally competent environment and relationships

Whether in the family, in the classroom, in a work team or in a relationship with a partner. The idea that must endure is that together we achieve more and better. That adults / bosses do not always have all the answers. That good communication and hierarchy allows a better functioning of the entire system.

It is about looking for the place where it is compatible to express and make room for individual needs, contributing and respecting others. In other words, everyone can feel themselves, develop and experiment, without harming others. From the moment we are part of a given system, we are interdependent and interrelated elements, constantly searching for the balance and homeostasis of the system.

The wonderful thing about children is that they never stop making us learn from them and with them. It is always a good time to start over, relearn, discover.


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