Monday, March 27

The Great British Bake Off 2022: episode one – live | The Great British Bake Off


And Paul is moaning that her mini sandwiches are too big, which feels nonsensical.

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Matt Lucas said they only have one hour to bake them, before saying that they have actually got another hour. It’s a joke, apparently.

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Bake Off would never give them an insufficient amount of time. They would never!

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Key events

Scott Bryan

I think it will be inevitable that we will see Nigel the sausage dog in cake form this series.

Compost Carol gets my vote – the hair, the classic baking. Already a favourite! Good to see everyone enjoying Bake Off the Kick Off.
Did I just hear a sausage dog called ‘Nigel’ or is that a bizarre dream? Will we see Nigel in cake form during the series?

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It’s the Signature Judging… starting with Maxy.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

And Paul is moaning that her mini sandwiches are too big, which feels nonsensical.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

into our mouths please. possibly with a mixer in a different spray, of course.

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Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

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Carole is now naming her mini sandwich cakes “Margaret,” “Mini” and “Maureen.” Why are we wasting time with 29 more challenges when we could just give her the trophy now?!??!!!

This is now a Compost Carole fan account #gbbo pic.twitter.com/GlHa2W1Ydx

— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) September 13, 2022

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Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

Disaster for Maisim though, who cut her mini sandwiches warm then curdled her buttercream. But a double disaster for Will, who curdled his buttercream twice.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

Unbelievably there are still more bakers to meet. We’ve got Syabira, a 32-year-old cardiovascular researcher. and Janusz who owns a sausage dog called Nigel. At real range.

He is the only one who got the memo about filling Prue with booze. And he’s using a kitchen spray full of booze to smother his bake. Surprised Prue isn’t standing there with her mouth open.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

And now there’s Dawn, a former project manager who worked for Boris Johnson (oh goodness, she’s proud of this??!!). She likes to entertain younger guests with handmade sugar figurines. I wonder if she ever presented one to Boris as he was painting those cardboard buses.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

It has felt like forever but we are *FINALLY* being introduced to Carole. She is known as “Compost Carole” to her gardening friends. She’s a supermarket cashier from Dorset and the name of her Ella Signature bake is “To Bee or not to Bee.” Icon.

Not only is her hair fantastic, a mix of purple, pink and white, but did you just see what her hair was like when she was a child? It was amazing.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

Will, a former charity director from London, has not forgotten to turn on his oven. He’s forgotten to turn on his timer! So close, Will, but yet so far.

We’ve still not said hello to all of the bakers. Up next is Jamesa 25-year-old nuclear scientist from Cumbria, who has achieved a Bake Off first by wearing a kilt in the tent!

Surprised someone hasn’t asked about looking up his kilt to see whether he is a true Scotsman. Give it time. We’re only twelve minutes in.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

There’s also Kevina 33-year-old music teacher from Lanarkshire, who plays the clarinet, saxophone and flute (me at home swigging a large glass of wine: but does he lindy hop?!?!)

And 18-year-old Maisim from Manchester. She’s the youngest baker in the tent this year.

and Maxy. She’s a 29-year-old architectural assistant from Sweden. I know Michael Chakraverty isn’t here but as she’s using the first mango in this series I know for a fact that wherever he is right now he just shuddered.

Scott Bryan

Scott Bryan

Up next is Sandro, a 30-year-old nanny and fitness fanatic from London and full disclosure I have been lost in his eyes. I think he’s from London. I misheard as I was searching for his Instagram from him (his Instagram is here.)

And he’s just made our hearts melt then broken our hearts in one sentence: “When I first saw my partner, every time I saw her, I always gave her a white rose.”

Of course he’s already loved up!




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