Wednesday, May 25

This way, everyone! Welcome! There are sandwiches! | Football


Now everyone is blatantly trolling Liverpool. For most of the second half of the season, clubs near the top of the Premier League table have apparently struggled to keep the door to the top four ajar, only for the Reds to miss out on several opportunities. to recover the points. with an incredibly predictable series of silent movie pratfalls, gaffes and last minute capitulations. They’ve practically run the entire playbook of antics, they keep routines that require props forbidden by the laws of the game, like custard cakes, glitter buckets, and square-wheeled cars, and still there’s a feeling that there’s a big tent. fiasco to come.

Ah look, they’re leaving for Old Trafford tonight, just 24 hours after Jorginho, Kepa, and nosy tinkerman Thomas Tuchel conspired to open that aforementioned door with a roll of long-haired red carpet. This way, everyone! Welcome! There are sandwiches! Chelsea’s ridiculous defeat in what appeared to be a training ground exercise has turned a top four game into something far more dangerous. The Fiver is pretty sure all will be fine for the Blues in the end – tonight’s Granadaland derby was probably decided in the 89th minute when Alisson asks someone to smell his funny flower, but he should never have gotten this far.

Of course, if newly deposed champions Liverpool somehow finish the season with four straight wins, showing the kind of better form they haven’t reached since the start of 2020, they will most likely make it to the Big Cup, given the permutations. , the fact that Leicester and Chelsea have to play each other, and no, we are not going to show our performance. But that seems like something of a pipe dream, given the recent antics, as well as the hopes and dreams of West Ham, who only have easy games left, but surely not enough. Still, it’s all technically still up in the air, although at least we saved the possibility of the award being stolen from the team finishing fourth, as Arsenal were eliminated from the Euro Vase last week. Looking back, it was the least they owed us for putting everything in turmoil at Stamford Bridge.


Join Scott Murray for MBM’s sizzling coverage of Aston Villa 1-2 Everton starting at 6pm BST, and Nick Ames will be in the chair of Manchester United 2-2 Liverpool at Old Trafford, where anti protests are again expected -Glazer.


I’ll talk to him to bring him back. Next year he will play in Alvalade (Sporting stadium) ”- From her balcony in Lisbon, Dolores Aveiro, Cristiano Ronaldo’s mother, tells Sporting fans that her son could return to his childhood club next season after his first Portuguese title since 2002.

All aboard the Rumor Mill!
Mom is the word. Photograph: Massimo Pinca / Reuters


Football Weekly Extra, with extra Clive Tyldesley ?! Football Weekly Extra, with extra Clive Tyldesley!


“Re: Ajax and his estimable gesture (yesterday’s Fiver). I heard that all Newcastle season ticket holders will shortly receive a broken pottery shard from an unnecessarily large mug. ”- Jon Millard.

“In an act that is causing me no small consternation, I feel I must come to The Fiver’s defense by following the letter from Jerry Twomey (and others). It is possible to make tea in a kettle without using tea bags using loose leaf tea, which I have been doing for many years; Kettles are actually a lovely kit and all the good kitchen appliance vendors are worth checking out. My only objection (there had to be one) is that it is possible to keep the tea warm for a while after it has been brewed, so there is no need to settle for lukewarm tea ”- Chris Ware (and no one else).

“I agree with Clive Tyldesley that ‘every commentator should be allowed to [eff] by year’. I think the Fiver should also be allowed one, maybe some and some Jeffs. When will the Fiver be allowed to join the Big Website and use the [eff] in question in its entirety? F[snip, Fiver Ed]”- Steve Wilson.

Send your letters to [email protected] And you can always Tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our award-winning card of the day is… Jon Millard.


The Champions League final on May 29 will be held in … IstanbulLondon … Porto!

Pep Guardiola has revealed that things got a bit crazy during Manchester City’s title celebrations. “At 11:30 pm, 15 pizzas arrived and that was the best moment of the night,” said Pep. “I was not in perfect condition to decide [which one] – but they were all so good. “

Richard Arnold is on pole position to replace Ed Woodward as boss at Old Trafford.

Matt Beard has been appointed the new manager of Liverpool Women after his time in temporary charge of Bristol City ended. “It is a fascinating football club, it is a fascinating city. My family and I love our time here and can’t wait to get back, ”De La Souled Beard, who previously managed the Reds between 2012 and 2015.

The good man Antonio Rüdiger has passed his social media accounts to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital for a day as a show of support for the NHS staff. “For me it is important to give more credit to the people who work in hospitals,” Rüdiger said. “They have done an excellent job for us in the last year and a half.”

The Premier League agreed to a £ 4.8 billion TV rights deal with Sky Sports, BT and Amazon. An extra £ 100 million will now go to little people, which is good.

Steve Bruce aims to stay at Newcastle United for one more season after bravely avoiding relegation. “I’m a soccer coach,” Bruce said bluntly.


Meet Kayky, Manchester City’s new Brazilian teenager, who wanted to be a doctor before becoming a footballer. Josué Seixas and Tom Sanderson chat with the 17-year-old, his parents (which sounds lovely by the way) and his coach.

Kayky (left) in action for Fluminense.
Kayky (left) in action for Fluminense. Photograph: Sergio Moraes / AFP / Getty Images

Gigi Buffon retires, Gennaro Gattuso’s Napoli beat Udinese and Milan beat Torino 7-0. Nicky Bandini reflects on another quiet week in Serie A.

It has been a difficult two years for Kepa Arrizabalaga, but he is likely to start for Chelsea in the FA Cup final on Saturday. Jacob Steinberg contemplates the whys and the hows.

With both Wednesday and United suffering ignominious declines, the city of Sheffield has had better seasons. Louise Taylor wonders what happened.

The most left-wing soccer game in history, a tractor parade and when Panenkas gets it wrong. It’s classic YouTube!

Casey Stoney’s surprising departure is a huge loss for Manchester United, argues Louise Taylor.

Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. Y INSTACHAT, ALSO!

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