Trevor Noah on the US Supreme Court: “Why not try to make it more representative?” | Summary of late night television

Now that’s what it looks like planning to do, but not everyone is happy about it,” he continued, queuing up several clips of furious Fox News anchors, including Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson.

“There’s a lot to unpack here, but most importantly, being a black woman is not the qualification,” Noah said. “Joe Biden is going to elect a black woman is who further qualified. These people act like Biden is going to show up at the mall and say, ‘Yo, Shaniqua, come with me!’

“No, she’s going to be qualified,” he added. “And why is that bad? Why not try to make the supreme court a little bit more representative of the country it represents? I mean, their failures impact the lives of every person in the country. So it would be nice to have at least one justice that had to ask the Walgreens guy to open the shampoo shelf.”

Stephen Colbert

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert poked fun at Fox News hosts’ ridiculous speculation about the Biden nominee; Laura Ingraham even suggested that the White House could nominate Vice President Kamala Harris. “It is a possibility, I think at least it is on the list of finalists. I think it’s a theory that could be credible,” said former Trump press secretary turned Fox contributor Kayleigh McEnany.

“Yes, according to theoretical sources, the name they pulled from their keister could be believable,” Colbert joked. “Let me give you a hint, Fox News. Joe Biden is not nominating Kamala Harris. It’s a 50-50 Senate and she can’t vote for herself!

“And I know what you’re saying: anything is possible,” he continued. “No, it is not. There is no possible universe in which this happens. Thanos can break that gauntlet all he wants, but not even the Infinity Stones could put her on the court.

“Dr. Stephen Strange is like, ‘the multiverse contains an infinite number of timelines, but in all of them, you’re an idiot.'”

samantha bee

In Full Frontal, Samantha Bee lashed out at Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, whose refusal to end the filibuster along with Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia has cost Democrats the ability to pass crucial right to vote.

“Yes, America’s favorite centrist Democrat fun couple, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, heroically protected the filibuster,” Bee deadpanned. “We get this shit from Joe Manchin, a red state senator who calls himself a Democrat the way Mormon teens call themselves virgins, but Arizona Sen. Kyrsten Sinema is more of a mystery.”

Sinema was elected as a Democrat in 2018 in a blue-leaning state, but she has continually stymied her own party: she voted against the Build Back Better bill, she has worked to defend filibuster. “Sinema has basically been a pain in the butt for years,” Bee explained, “like an itchy lace thong that you only wear when you’re out with someone new.”

In a speech defending her refusal to overturn the filibuster, thereby allowing Republicans to block the voting rights bill, Sinema said she “would not support separate actions that would worsen the underlying disease of division that infects our country.” ”.

“Ma’am, you are the disease of division that infects our country!” Bee replied.

“By blocking voting rights, Kyrsten Sinema has done irreparable damage to this country,” Bee concluded, “and Kyrsten, I’m talking to you now: In two years, you’re going to lose anyway. Why block progress? Be a one-term senator who saves democracy instead of someone who shits on Americans while cashing Big Pharma checks.”

seth meyers

And on Late Night, Seth Meyers touched on Biden’s tight-lipped dance in naming a successor to Breyer. “In our dumb system, there was nothing to stop Breyer from just changing his mind and staying, and we all have to nod our heads and pretend that having such an important forever job isn’t crazy,” he said.

“I mean, what about an employee review every decade? Is it too much to ask? Whoever came up with the idea of ​​lifetime appointments must have been,” to quote Biden into a lit microphone, a “stupid son of a bitch.”

As for the GOP’s opposition to any Biden candidate, citing any historical precedent, “there’s no reason to ever take anything these guys say seriously again,” Meyers said. “They blocked President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee eight months before the election and then rushed to confirm Amy Coney Barrett eight days before the election.

“Now they say that even when it’s not an election year, they won’t confirm a Democratic candidate. McConnell then goes on to claim that the constitution says that “the Senate cannot confirm a candidate when a Democrat is president in a month ending in Y when it is an alternate side parking lot before or after Labor Day in a year in which that Tom Brady is not in the Super Bowl.